did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This is the high leading the old right now
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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