i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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