...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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