Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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