the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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