I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
