Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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