I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
