apparently the secret to your success is patron
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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