What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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