Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
