i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
