Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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