operation harelip BJ is a go
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
