Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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