Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
