feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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