She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
