You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
