so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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