I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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