Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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