I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
