it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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