BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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