After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
