R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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