Sry I called you an 8
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Too much gin, very little bucket
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
