at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
