At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
