she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
