just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
