So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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