God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
