I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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