Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
