thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
