i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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