Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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