Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
