is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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