How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
