she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
