its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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