His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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