are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
