yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
