My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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