I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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