Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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